The Rise and Fall of Lonna Krall February 22, 2008

*Names have been changed to protect the permanently scarred*

          Lonna Krall was a 5’ 2”, big chested, Virginia Slim smoking, bleach blonde front end Deli Manager at Trio.  We first met her as a sales rep for a company that carries cured meats and cheeses.  She knew the owners from high school and they offered her a job at their new store.  It was apparent to us from the very beginning that she had no idea what she was doing.  For starters her attire was not appropriate.  Her low cut tanks, carpis and heels were, while cute, not kitchen friendly.  And don’t get me started on her hair.  She wore it down which again was cute but when dealing with food the Health Dept. requires that your hair be restrained.  Ponytail, hat, hairnet – they don’t care but it can’t be all out.  Although some of us liked Lonna very much we all had a certain degree of annoyance for her blatant disregard for kitchen rules and etiquette.

            Anyway one day she suffered a tragedy through a series of events that made us all smirk.  1^stone of the amigos made chicken stock in the steam kettle, empties it into a large cambro, picture over-sized Tupperware, and set it on the floor in the cooler to cool, which by the way is an improper cooling technique but I’m not going there.  Lonna enters the cooler looking for something and finds it on the top of the metro rack and since she can’t reach it, she decides to climb it to get what she needs.  That is what I thought step stools are for but again, don’t want to go there. So here is this little woman in espadrilles and carpis climbing a rack and on her way down steps directly into the cambro of near boiling stock and is immersed to the knee.  Now here is where a bad situation gets worse.  Once out of the cooler Lonna sat in a chair in agonizing pain surrounded by employees trying to comfort her.  A chef that worked in seafood suggested she put some mayonnaise on it to soothe the pain. Ok, I’m no doctor but to me mayo is good on sandwiches not on burns.  The doctor later said what started out as first degree burns turned into second degree burns thanks to… you guessed it the mayo. 

            “Who told you to do that?!?!” the doctor demanded

            Lonna came back to work a week later in long pants and close toed shoes with a hat on her head.  She wore bandages on her ankle and toes where her burns were the worst.  Workman’s Comp denied her claim because she was, wait for it, not in proper work attire. Seriously guys this story cracks me up.  It’s one of those full circle things.  It reminds me of a poster I saw. 

            “Some people’s sole purpose in life is to serve an example to others of what not to do.”

Hold the mayo,

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